In the past, parents would criticize whatever their children did, just to make them strive harder. However, children become self-doubting and increasingly self-conscious. Learning from that experience, parents always try to find ways to praise their children, with the hope that their children will develop better. However, not all parents realize that they should only give compliments in certain situations. Receiving frequent compliments will make your child become more conceited and more "difficult" as he matures. Let's learn the secrets to praising your child to keep them happy.
Avoid praising things that are too easy to achieve
When children do everything, their parents praise them, which will unintentionally lower their standards in life. Children will feel satisfied with everything they do and will only do the simplest things to receive praise. Whenever you encounter an obstacle, the first thought in your child's mind may be "I can't do this" or "It's great to be able to do this". Furthermore, too-easy recognition from parents also makes children underestimate the abilities of those around them.
The secret to praising your child here is to praise them for their efforts to accomplish their goals, not just for the results. Especially when your child has tried his best but the results are not as expected, praise at this time will help him regain confidence and continue trying. For example, instead of "You have always been good at Math", parents should say "You have tried very hard to be good at Math, we are very proud", and at the same time encourage your child to look at his or her poor work. Be good and correct, don't flatter because your child always gets good grades.
Additionally, for things that are too simple to achieve, praise should only be given a few times. Give your child encouragement by setting bigger goals every time they complete something. Only then will they not set limits for themselves and move forward.
Next tip for praising your child: Don't make your child feel too perfect
Statements like “You are the best kid!” “You are the most beautiful!”, will make you conceited about yourself. Children will tend to be grumpy and upset when someone is better than them. Children gradually fear failure, and become increasingly cautious about obstacles in life for fear of losing their parents' trust. I'm afraid that I'm not the most talented person in my parents' eyes.
Don't make your child feel too perfect - That's the second secret to praising your child. You should clearly identify the reason for praising and why parents appreciate it. This also helps children be happier because they Know that your parents always watch and acknowledge the good things you do. Compliments at the right time and place will become a great motivation and will not hinder your child's advancement in the future.
Focus on effort, not talent
It cannot be denied that many children have natural gifts and talents, helping them to be extremely good in a certain field. I easily achieve more than others and make my parents very proud. However, when children truly believe that everything they do well is due to their natural gifts, they will tend to blame their failures. I began to believe that if I didn't have natural talent, I would be nothing. At the same time, I ignored my own shortcomings and avoided all the things that "natural talent" couldn't do. The secret to praising your child here is to avoid flattering compliments about natural talent.
Thomas Edison once said: "Genius is only 1% innate talent, and 99% is hard work." A genius without effort will sooner or later be defeated by others. Parents, learn how to praise your child even if he or she is extremely talented. Your praise will be the wings that support your child every time he or she is tired and wants to give up.
Always give sincere compliments
As children grow older, they become more sensitive to their parents' praise. Purposeless compliments like "You're always good at it", "It's obvious that you get good grades" will make children think that their parents don't care about them and only praise them for the sake of it. . Gradually, children will become distant from their parents and no longer like to hear praise.
Parents can refer to the following tips for praising their children: listen and learn what their children do to give accurate praise. A compliment full of information and not cliché will convey the message that parents always care and stand by their children in everything. Thanks to that, the child becomes more confident and makes more efforts to achieve his or her goals.
Praise regularly and at the right time will bring amazing results. We hope that the secret to praising children that we share will help parents on their journey of raising children.
